Mid term examination results reveal parents’ anxiety, children’s scores fall badly, not to blame is the key point

Many schools held the mid-term examination last week. After the results were announced, several anxious parents came to the psychological chat bar: the children always fail in the advantageous subjects; the children who enter the first grade of junior high school with excellent results fall to the middle grade in two months According to the psychological teacher, examination is also a technical activity. The review state, physical condition, psychological quality, test question preference and so on, any factor mismatch may affect the children’s test performance, and parents can guide their children to adjust their cognition of “mistakes”. < / P > < p > Q: just after the mid-term exam, I found a very strange thing: the child’s math score was good, but since the last exam made a low-level error, mathematics seems to have become a barrier. Before the exam, he was extremely nervous. He reviewed the wrong questions again and again, but the result was still not good, even worse than the last time. Looking at the test paper, I found that a very big question was just because I read the wrong topic. Ask the teacher, how to deal with such a situation? < p > < p > Liang Juan: it can be seen that this is a child who takes learning very seriously. After making mistakes, he wants to avoid the last situation through his own efforts, which is very worthy of affirmation. But why the more efforts, the more mistakes? I think this is because the child’s tension makes him focus too much on the part and ignore the whole. Therefore, the two “mistakes” can not easily deny the child’s learning state, efforts, strength, it is very likely that there is something wrong with his mentality. First of all, parents should be aware of their children’s emotions. I think these two mistakes may lead to some depression of children’s mood, and even self denial, confusion, helplessness and so on. At this time, parents should first stabilize their worries, not easily criticize and criticize, treat their children’s mistakes and nervousness with an ordinary mind, and dilute the focus of children. When communicating with children, we can guide them to express their current emotions and feelings, so as to help them release their inner pressure. < / P > < p > in addition, parents can choose a more positive way to evaluate the test paper together with their children. They should not only look at the overall score and the missing part of the test paper, but also should analyze it from a comprehensive, comprehensive and developmental perspective in combination with the child’s usual efforts, basic abilities and recent status, so as to find progress points, special points and development potential points to affirm, encourage and give more to children Some confidence. More affirmation of children’s efforts and efforts, the test results and the value of children’s existence, to help him repair confidence. < p > < p > here we can refer to the five step affirmation method of teacher Yang Jingping, the leader of psychology in Nanjing City: the first step is to affirm the score and bypass the part of losing points. Parents can take their children to look for breakthrough points and progress points on the test paper, so that children can not easily question their learning ability; second, they must work hard. Although the children’s score drops, parents should see that their children should avoid any more mistakes The third step is to affirm the motivation. The reason why the child is so nervous is because he is a person who is strict with himself and pursues excellence. The fourth step is that parents can say to their children, “no matter how well you do in the exam, it’s good enough for you to work hard.” the fifth step is to affirm the true nature, Although the child’s efforts have not received timely positive feedback, parents should see that the child did not give up his study easily after a mistake, but tried to improve. From this, we can see that he is a child who does not give up easily when encountering difficulties. Finally, parents can guide their children to adjust their cognition of “mistakes”. It’s normal that you don’t do well in the exam occasionally. No one can never make mistakes. No matter how excellent you are, you will fail in the exam. < p > < p > Q: the mid-term exam is over, and the children’s scores are not very good. We parents are very anxious, but the children do not seem to be in a hurry, and always say who is worse than him in the exam. How can children learn actively? Zhang Wen: many parents feel very anxious, worried and angry because their children seem to have insufficient motivation to learn. These are normal. Behind them are parents’ full love and expectation for their children. But perhaps we need to look at this seemingly unsolved “problem” more calmly and objectively. < / P > < p > first of all, take a close look at what kind of state the child seems to be relaxed behind. In fact, the results are not ideal, children are anxious, but not every child will show this anxiety. The heart is very anxious, but shows relaxed and calm, this is a kind of psychological defense mechanism, can let the child maintain in a relatively stable state, will not collapse because of the unsatisfactory results. From this point of view, such children’s heart is strong, and their bearing capacity for pressure is also relatively strong. It’s a child’s advantage, and parents should be happy about it. < / P > < p > secondly, don’t disturb the rhythm of children easily. Learning is a child’s business. In learning, children have their own rhythm, a test results to a large extent can not accurately reflect the children’s current learning situation. Parents need to see their children’s efforts and efforts, believe in their children, so that children can find rhythm and confidence in their own learning. < / P > < p > sometimes, the standards of children and parents are not consistent about whether the scores are ideal or not. If the child is still satisfied with his / her academic performance and learning state, parents should calm down and think about it. Is it possible that their expectation of their children is too high, so they will be disappointed, angry and anxious? Parents need to adjust their mentality first, and then face the current learning together with their children. When parents are stable enough, they can give more support and encouragement to their children. < / P > < p > Q: when the child entered the junior high school, her grade was the first in her class, and she was also among the top in the monthly examination. In the mid-term examination, she fell to the middle of the class. I don’t know why her grades dropped so much in just two months. Now she doesn’t know where the problem is and how to deal with it as a parent? Zhang Kaixuan: Hello, parents! Facing the “retrogression” of children’s achievements, you may feel anxious and confused. We can try to think from the following three points: < / P > < p > 1. See the efforts of children. When children enter a new stage of learning, the contents of courses and learning methods have changed greatly. In the first two months after the beginning of school, children may still be in the period of adaptation and running in, and have not fully mastered the skills of junior high school learning. At this time, parents need to see their children’s efforts and efforts, see that the children’s own growth and development is not mature, understand that children’s test scores fluctuate is a very normal phenomenon, do not blame and criticize. (2) summarize the examination experience. Examination is a technical activity that needs practice and experience summary. There may be many factors that affect the test results: review state, physical condition, psychological quality, test question preference and so on. Any mismatch of factors may affect children’s examination performance. Therefore, we must allow children to play the role of disorder, at the same time, parents can help children to analyze and sum up examination experience together, comb out exam skills, readjust the state before the next examination, and make full preparations. Third, help children to reduce pressure and put down their psychological burden. Children’s test scores “regress”, the inner pressure and anxiety is no less than parents, parents’ emotions will directly affect the child’s psychological state. If parents always complain or criticize their children, the children will have a sense of frustration and psychological burden, and the event of examination will become a huge pressure event for children. At the same time, parents should separate the test results from the value of children’s existence, see the children’s longer-term development, create an atmosphere in the family where children can really relax and express their emotions, help children relax and regain confidence, and continue to move forward with a lighter pace. 08/16/2020