What’s the status quo of families with two children following their mother’s surname? There are three kinds of results that can’t escape. It’s the child who gets hurt after all

In China’s thousands of years of historical development, due to the prevalence of “male chauvinism” in the feudal period, in the children’s surname, “son with father’s surname” has always been an eternal tradition. < / P > < p > in recent decades, people’s ideas have been obviously open and progressive, and gender equality has become more and more popular. With the opening of the two child policy, it has gradually become a new trend that the second child follows his mother’s surname. < / P > < p > Xiaoxin is the only child in the family. After marriage with her husband, she has a daughter. The husband and wife play harmoniously and get along well with her husband’s family, just like a happy family. < / P > < p > after having a second child, Xiaoxin and her husband put forward the idea that the second child should follow the mother’s surname. Although the husband did not explicitly refuse, he also showed embarrassment. Before long, the news spread to Xiaoxin’s mother-in-law. The second elder, who had never been angry with his daughter-in-law, angrily came to the door to accuse Xiaoxin, and said that he firmly did not agree that his grandson should follow his “foreign name”. < / P > < p > in the face of her husband’s unwillingness and the complaints from her parents in law, Xiaoxin is very disappointed. How can she bear the baby for ten months and not be qualified to decide her child’s surname? Besides, there is already a child with her mother-in-law’s family name. Now that she has two children, isn’t it fair to have one family name? < / P > < p > therefore, Xiaoxin fell into mild depression during pregnancy, not only to bear the physical burden, but also to endure mental torture. The husband couldn’t bear for his wife to go on like this. When the child was born, he secretly let the second child follow Xiaoxin’s surname. < / P > < p > my parents in law were furious when they learned that they were good at asserting. In the days after that, my parents in law took a “180 degree turn” in their attitude towards Xiaoxin, often picking her nose and eyes. Not only that, it’s common to treat her differently when facing the two children. < / P > < p > children are getting older and older now. They often ask why they have different surnames, and conflicts between the two children occur frequently. Xiaoxin often talks about this matter, and all of them have to sigh: it’s the child who is hurt that regrets the beginning. < / P > < p > there are many families like Xiaoxin. What’s the status quo of families that insist that the second child follow their mother’s surname? There are three kinds of endings. In fact, it’s the child who gets hurt in the end. < / P > < p > most mother-in-law families will not agree that their children follow their mother’s surname. If the young husband and wife insist on going their own way regardless of their opposition, they are bound to get the resentment of their mother-in-law and form a “feud” from then on. < / P > < p > it’s not only difficult to reconcile the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also the mother-in-law’s family will transfer their emotions to their children. Facing the same two grandchildren, they will be treated differently. < / P > < p > grandma likes to follow her father’s surname, but Grandma favors those who follow her mother’s surname. The elder’s bowl of water is unfair, so the child’s heart naturally feels that such a “distorted” family atmosphere is not conducive to the child’s growth. < / P > < p > although the surname of children’s mother has become popular, it still accounts for a small number. Seeing that other people’s brothers and sisters all have the same surname, and the siblings who get along with them day and night are another surname, it’s hard to avoid thinking too much. < / P > < p > over time, the two children can feel the “special” atmosphere of the family, and there will gradually be contradictions between them, lack of love and trust. < / P > < p > for two children in a family, how to get along with each other and deal with conflicts is a science in itself. In addition, the situation of siblings with different surnames gradually deepens the sense of estrangement between the two children, which is not as close as normal siblings. < / P > < p > although it is a tradition that “the son follows the father’s surname”, there are some very open-minded parents in law who do not care about these things. Since they are their own grandchildren, they will be treated equally. < / P > < p > the people around you understand the situation and don’t need to explain too much. But outsiders may ask, “Why are you two different surnames?” Children don’t know how to explain it, which makes people wonder: parents’ emotional problems or half way couples? < / P > < p > in the future, it will even become a “handle” for others to make fun of their children, so the children will be hurt and think: are they born to their parents? Who doesn’t love themselves? Gradually produce inferiority complex. < / P > < p > since “follow your parents” has been around for thousands of years, the ideas of the older generation have been solidified, and it’s hard to change them just for a moment. Whether a child should follow his mother’s surname or not, parents should consider it according to the actual situation of their own family. After all, a name is a lifelong event for a child. Focus